What do you do when you are invited by your colleague Shanti (27 years old) to come to her house because her family has become very curious about that foreign colleague? You simply go. Fortunately, I found out in time that she also expected me to stay the night, because there would be no buses running in the evening. So the next day I carried a backpack to school with overnight supplies. I had no idea what I would encounter, so just to be safe I brought a sleeping bag and an inflatable pillow. Which caused quite a bit of laughter, but I did use the inflatable pillow.

It’s always exciting to see where you will end up and how you will be received. There was certainly no lack of hospitality, and in this way you get a glimpse of daily life within such a family. Actually, I should say in-laws. Shanti got married last year, and as is customary, the woman moves in with her husband’s family. This is especially the case when he is the eldest son, although it also depends on the situation of the eldest son. This household consists of six people: Shanti and her husband, her sister-in-law, her mother-in-law, and the parents of her father-in-law. The father-in-law himself has been working in Qatar for 20 years and comes home from time to time. The youngest son works and studies in Japan.

One thing that catches my attention is a painting on the wall. I have the feeling that it means something. Shanti explains: in a few weeks she and her husband will celebrate their first wedding anniversary. This celebration includes removing this drawing from the wall that was made there after the wedding ceremony. The drawing on the wall in the groom’s house after a Nepali/Hindu wedding symbolizes the welcoming of the bride, fertility, and the bringing of happiness and prosperity to the new home. It marks the beginning of a new phase of life and blesses the couple.

Shanti plans to serve me a typical Nepali dish and goes into the kitchen, continuously asking if I am okay, worried that I might not feel comfortable. While Shanti is in the kitchen cooking for me and I am sitting alone with the grandmother, I take out my sketchbook. It becomes the only way for us to connect—not through spoken language, but through visual language. Maina is 65 years old, though to me she looks older.

After a while the food is served. I thought I knew everything by now, but the rice has been replaced by a kind of firm porridge made from millet flour. Very nutritious, according to them. The instruction I receive is: make small balls and swallow them in one go. I don’t know how they do it, but I can’t manage it. After my desperate attempts to get it down, I am advised to stop. They also realize that this is quite heavy food for someone who isn’t used to it.

Shanti’s husband works with the military police and managed to stop by for a short visit, probably curious about me as well. Tomorrow morning he already has to return to the barracks to prepare for the elections. Now that the whole family is together, it is time for some photos.

Around 9:30 p.m. I see everyone’s eyes starting to close. Apparently, 9:00 p.m. is normally bedtime. Not surprising when the alarm goes off at 5:00 a.m. The large (meaning: marital) bed is given to me so I can lie diagonally in it if my height doesn’t quite fit… Shanti herself is about 150 cm tall, and her husband is at most 170 cm. Her husband is banished to the guest bed.

The next morning I hear Shanti getting up at 5:00. She cleans the house before leaving for school. I stay in bed a little longer until 7:00 and then get breakfast. After breakfast I see Maina (the grandmother) leave with the two buffaloes to a nearby piece of land to let them graze. This part of Pokhara is still quite rural. Shanti’s in-laws have three goats, two buffaloes, chickens, and a vegetable garden.

At 8:30 we walk to the bus, which half an hour later drops us off near the school after a ride through the mountains.